Should I fucking move to China?

Fuck fuck fucking fuck fuckers. Fuckity fuck fuck fuck. Fizzuck fucking fuck. Fucker fucking? Fuck fack fuck:

1. Fuck
2. Fuck
3. Fuck
4. Cunt
5. Fuck
6. Fuck
7. Fuck

Fuckerizing Fuckdom.

That old feeling is back, gnawing away at my insides.

I haven't yet been able to settle on a fitting metaphor for this weekend. It would have to be simply divine tho. She doesn't scare me at all.

I finally found some work. Good work. So far it seems good at least. I am feeling fairly optimistic about everything, so far that I feel vitually no animosity towards anybody. The problem is I really don't feel much of anything, like I'm disconnected from the source. Nothing exciting, nothing depressing. Everything seems like raw data. My theory so far is that by avoiding and excising all the emotional bullshit in my life, I have nothing left to drive me. Either that or I blew a fuse.

I have officially given up on Windsor. I am selling my home, selling my truck, selling my possesions, buying a van and driving west until I start to feel happy again. My family is dead set against it. My sister is angry and calling me selfish and my mother is sad. I have run out of EI, I have no job and I am drowning in debt. FUCK THIS PLACE.

Less than one month later, and I couldn't be any more tense. Smoke free for 9 days, 1 week of EI left, no job...

I feel a bit less tense now.

Like I said, we reap what we sow. In the end you weren't what you seemed to be, so the you that I cared about and missed was all a facade. The last words I said to you were "good luck" and I meant them, cause you'll need it with all of that nasty shit inside of you.

It's funny what brings a smile to my face sometimes. And it's even better seeing bad people get what's coming to them. We do reap what we sow.

I have virtually abandoned hope and am now running on a full tank of fear.

I savour the flavour saver!

Tonite Georges St. Pierre did what I said he would do.
He mauled Matt Hughes and brought the belt back to Canada.
It wasn't even close.

He's the only french person that I like.

I admire him so much that I named my cat Georges St. Pierre.

It suits him. (The cat)

Sometimes you don't have to wait very long for the things you wish for ;)

all is said and done
this is this and that is that
now I move forward

Dustin just left, which makes final the fact that my 3 closest friends have all moved to BC.
His room's empty and that's how I feel.
I just hugged my son really tight and fought back the tears.
Thank goodness for net girl. Without her, I'd be too depressed to get out of bed. She's such a hot girl...

Fate is a strange mistress. She finds you when you're not looking to be found. But powerful she is, this fate. Unable to resist her I am.

At some point I'm going to have to pick sides again because this wishy-washy being nice about it bullshit is making me want to slit my fucking throat. Reason and bullshit cannot peacefully coexist no matter how good one's intentions are. This is not a battle I have chosen. This is a battle that has chosen me. It has already cost me so much that I have less to lose than ever. I cannot bite my tongue any longer.

I am the black cloud.

laid off again.
will perform heterosexual acts for $$$$.
discretion assured.

She smelled like summer camp love as she pressed her gunt against the top of my head.
In my mouth, the tastes of blood and stainless steel danced like white men.